Ummm...Abnormal Phases

Ummm...Abnormal Phases

Part 1: The Lieful Truth

Seto walkes into kaiba Corp. and lookes around slowly. He realizes that the majority of the personnel with desk jobs are girls, and he starts to wonder why.

Seto: am I sexist to guys???? Well it’s either that or I’m a pervert which I know I’m no, so then I must be sexist.

I mean, I have problems with half the guys I know,

yugi, atem, alister,bakura, marik, joey....what's wrong with me????

shadi: i'll tell u what. u are refusing to embrace the truth.

seto: the truth? not this s**t again.

i'm not a priest, i never was and i never will b.

shadi: *shaking head*yes u were but thats not what i'm talking about.

seto:*disbelieveing* its not?

shadi:the truth is that u r gay and u r refusing to accept this fact and instead u r pushing away all the guys u have feelings for.

seto: WHAT?????....but it could b true...i...i'm ....gay!

shadi: yes but the real show stopper is that ur one true love is the guy u terrorize the most.

seto:*eyes huge*no...it can't be...it couldn't be..and not with...him.

shadi: yes it is true and it is him. The one and only...Joey Wheeler. he is ur one true love...now embrace the TRUTH!!.

seto: I Believe!. it explains everything, i was hiding from the truth, i see that now and i wont hide any longer.

shadi:that's the way, and just look at him.

*takes a picture of joey from his sari*

seto: he is kinda cute isn't he.

shadi: yes now go to him. profess ur love.

seto:i..i will.....wait what if hes...*whispers*straight?

shadi: don't worry he isn't y do u think he and mai never got together.'

seto: your right. i'mgoing to him now.

*races out the door*

shadi:*comes outside**chuckles the bursts out laughing*

ishizu:*comes to look for seto but doesn't see him but sees shadi*

what's so funny?

shadi:oh, my love, some ppl will believe anything*cackles*

ishizu:*frowns* im not ur love.

*suspiciously* what did u do this time?

shadi: i just convinced ur lover boy that he's gay and is in love with..get this.. joey wheeler*cackles more*

ishizu: what!!!????

shadi: yes, and he's on his way there now in search of his *mocking girly voice* one true love

ishizu faints when she come to shadi is standing over her.

shadi: strange isn't it that he'll believe he's gay but not that he was a high priest..and he's not even gay.

ishizu:how.....how could u*sobbing* y would u do this to me?

shadi: y? to b with u my love we belong together.

ishizu: no we don't I love seto, and i will never love u, u..u psycho

shadi:*grabs her and kisses her* yes u will, u don't have a choice, he doesn't want u anyways he's got a new lover now. * laughts maniacally*

MEANWHILE

Seto finds joey talking to yugi talking to yugi in front of gramp's store

Seto:*thinking* no i can't let yugi take awya my one love *clears throat* Um Joey? could i talk to u for a second?

Joey:*suspiciously* what for?

Yugi: yes kaiba, what do u want?

Seto: To speak with Joey...Alone

Joey: Fine

Yugi: Joey

Joey: relax yug, i can handle myself

Seto: come with me

They walk off together to the docks.

Joey: So what is it u want?

Seto: *takies a breath* to tell u i love u

Joey: what the hell? are u high?

Seto:yes...no...yes...i don't know. all i know is i've accepted the fact that im gay, and i love u

Joey: ???? ur creeping me out here kaiba

Seto: I know you feel the same. we love each other and i've come to realize that we shouldn't hide from the truth. we should embrace it.

Joey: *eyes bulging* embrace it? the only this i'm embracing is the fact that ur wack. i definitely aint no gay. im outta here. *turns and hightails it home visibly troubled*

Seto: *walks home slowly nursing his broken heart8 shadi was wrong, wheeler is is straight. leave it to me to fall for a straight guy.

*shadi appears*

Shadi: he isn't straight seto

seto: yes he is. u were wrong, and im beginning to think u were wrong about my being gay too.

Shadi: No!!! i mean...no. i wasn't wrong. listen joey is just in denial like u were. *leaves the room*

Seto: *sigh*

*ishizu knocks on the door then enters and sees seto*

Ishizu: surely u don't believe that shit shadi's been feeding u seto

seto: i do. im sorry ish, but its the truth. shadi has the millenium key, he knows. so this means the end for the two of us

ishizu: *crying* no...plz...*runs from the room sobbing* how could this happen? i'll kill that SOB shadi. *wipes tears* but first i must keep seto and joey apart.

Part 2: Everyone Experiments

Joey walks up to kaiba's house and gives himself a quick peptalk.

Joey: Okay wheeler, u can do this...besides not like any girl will fall for u, besides mai, and u'll never get to b with her. besides its good to know whats out there. u never know till u try. joey u want to do this. *knocks on the front door*

Ishizu comes from the kitchen, opens the door and sees joey

ishizu:*thinks* oh no, he's here for seto. well hes not getting him. *out loud* what do u want?

Joey: what? no good morning?

Ishizu: 8glares at him*

joey: okay okay whatever, someone's in a bad mood. i just came to c k..uh seto

ishizu: i know and i won't let u

joey: you/ won't let me?

ishizu: exactly. stay away from my boyfriend. he's not up for grabs. what is wrong with u ppl? y cant u leave us alone?

joey: lady. ur boyfriend doesn't want u. he wants me. he doesn't go for girls period. now if u'll excuse me. my koibito awaits

ishizu:*anger bursting out* stay away from him joey wheeler, leave him alone he'll come out of this this phase soon enough. he's just confused, he doesn't realize what he wants.

joey: is that so/ he seemed pretty sure to me yesterday. you're not gonna stop us from being together i am finally completely conviced that we're meant to b. so out of my way bitch

ishizu:*vehemenently* Never! *slams the door in joeys face*

joey: great now how will i get to him/ i can't keep him waiting or he might choose some other guy *eek* what if he already did. after the way i blew him off yesterday.

joey scrambles up a vine on the wall to setos bedroom window which is open, and tumbles in. At the noise seto wakes up and looks around and is surprisedand ecstatic to c joey.

seto; u...u came *supergrin*

joey: of course i did *hugs seto* i almost didn't though. ishizu wouldn't let me in

seto: *sigh* she really doesn't understand that its over....delusional woman

joey: yeah, i tried to tell her but she's in denial

seto; thats too bad for her

WARNING: YAOI highlight to read the rest

they look into each others eyes and kiss long and hard joey takes setos hand and leads him back to the huge bed in the center of the room.

seto: i was dreaming of ths all night

joey: now both ouur dreams will come true

they lie on the bed kissing and slowly strip each other of all their clothes

joey:damn ur so beautiful seto

seto: so r u joey, so r u

Part 3: Third Guys The Charm

Bakura: *sees seto and joey walking hand in hand down the sidewalk* Soooo seto isn't straight. well this is great news, now i can tell him how much i like him. but first i must get rid of wheeler.

*sneaks up behaind seto and joey and trips joey hard then he hides* *snickers*

joey: aahh *falls hard *ouch

seto: joey are u all right?

joey: ouch actually i'm not i think i damaged my back

seto: im sorry, wwhat happened? *helps joey to stand and supports him and calls cab

joey: i think i tripped over something, ouch

seto: well we've got to get you to a hospital *helps joey into the cab* city hospital

cab driver: yes mr.kaiba sir

seto: u'll b okay joey. I'll make sure of it

joey: thanks seto

MEANWHILE

Shadi: my love don't deny the love we have for each other

ishizu: get the hell away from me shadi!!! *runs away down a corridor*

shadi; *shase after her* wait ishizu. y do u run from me? u know i'll never harm u. i wants whats best for u, unlike seto i really love u.

ishizue: seto loves me shadi. he does!! u tricked him. u've already harmed me

shadi: that all in the past, dust under the rug. the fact is he's gay now and he doesn't love u anymore.

ishizu: *blowing steam* yes! he does!!! deep down i know he still loves me and im going to get him back. and you! you just get out of my way and STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!!!!!!!

shadi: *shrinks ways from her* but ishizu, my love

ishizu: DON'T U DARE 'MY LOVE' me shadi. u should b so ashamed of urself. now Get Out of my sight. Ur Despicable!!!!!!

shadi: *cringes* yes ma'am. whatever u say ma'am. 8sulks away*

MEANWHILE

seto and joey are in the hospital, joey is lying on a hospital bed and seto is sitting next to me

seto: thank goodness ur alright joey. the doctor says u can leave soon

joey; yeah. thanks for coming with me

seto: i love you joey, i'll b thee whenever u need me. r u thirsty?

joey: a little yeah

seto: hold on i'll go get some drinks. be right back

seto goes out into the halway and finds a vending machine. while his i getting the drinks bakura comes up to him

bakura: hello seto

seto: bakura? what do u want?

bakura: just to talk to u

seto: well u have to wait, joey....

bakura: *interupts* joey will have to wait

seto: u've got alot of nerve bakura. just who do u think u r

bakura: im the guy who's gonna keep u from making the biggest mistake of ur life

seto; and what mistake would that be? dumping ishizu?

baklura: no, going out with wheeler, when we both know we belong together

seto: keeps dreaming bakura, ur beneath me

bakura: touche, but so is wheeler u know. at least i can duel

seto: joey can duel, he just needs a little help

bakura: a little? *snickers*

seto: shut it bakura

bakura: not until u see ur error

seto: there is no error!

bakura: don't forget, joey was straight. he doesn't love u, not like i do seto

Seto: liar, he does love me

bakura: does not. he's just on the rebound after mai. a loser willing to tkae whatever he can get. you know if he had to chose you wouldn't be his first choice. i m the one who loves u seto. remember that and think about what i said *walks of confidently*

seto walks back to joey's rom and finds him sitting up in bed chatting a little too happily with a nurse

seto: staff nurse?

nurse: yes mr.kaiba, he's fine, he's free to go as soon as the doctor signs his release papers

seto: which is when? *impatiently*

nurse: uh right now sir. i'll just go....yeah *scurries off*

joey: thanks again seto

seto: *doesn't anwser immediately, then starts slowly* tell me joey, do u really love me? are u even really gay?

joey: yes seto, i made love to u. u know i love u

seto: that doesn't mean a thing joey. be honest. if mai was here, would u still choose me over her?

joey: doesn't answer

seto: i c *walking away8 there'll b a cab to take u home. i hope u get better, but stay the hell out of my way *slaks off*

joey: *shrugs* whatever. now where did that cute nurse get to

..................................

Part 4: Staus Quo

seto bumps into ishizu. he greets her

seto: bakura was right. wheeler doesn't love me. and u know what? i don't love him either. im sure now i never did. shadi was wrong.

ishizu: *her eyes light up* of course he was, i...

seto; *interupts her* he probably meant bakura, bot joey. wow to think i almost made the biggest mistake of my life

ishizu: no seto. u still r

seto: what do u mean i still am?

ishizu: did it ever occur to u that if shadi was wrong about joey that he was wrong about u being gay in the first place?

seto: *thinks about it* i didn't think of that. but im willing to give him the benefit of the doubt

ishizu: so does that mean u believe u were a high priest?

seto: hell no! that's pure crap

ishizu: but shadi said it

seto: mmm...i c ur point

ishizu: for the record he was being honest about the priest thisg seto. but tell me do u actually deep inside believe u love other guys?

seto; *heaves a sigh* u know what ishizu....i don't....or i would probably never have fallen in love with u....and....i wouldn't still love u the way i do

ishizu runs into his arms and hugs him tightly, tears of joy streaming

ishizu: i knew u did. i never gave up on u *kiosses him gently*

seto: ur the only one who never has. shadi is a lying manipulative bastard

ishizu: not entirely seto

seto: really? *sceptically*

ishizu: really. and besides the fact that i knew u loved me, the only way i knew he lied to u was because he told me

seto: what?

ishizu: yeah...he...he wanted to b with me so he tried to get u out of the picture. but i don't even like him, i hate him and he knows it now

seto: he'll pay for that

ishizu: *nods* but not right now

seto: no. not right now at all *kisses her gently then more passionately* he's not more important than u. no one is and i owe u alot right now to make up for what i did and my stupidity

ishizu: *smiling* i love u seto kaiba. stupidity and all

Owari desu

Take Me Out - Franz Ferdinand